So your feeling pretty confident and excited as you’ve got a date tomorrow night, and this could turn out to be the woman of your dreams. Then having bought the new shirt and had the long overdue haircut, you start trying to think of some really good date ideas that would both impress and not break the bank.
Then as if by magic, the message hits your phone saying “I’m really looking forward to tomorrow night, whats the plan, and what time are you picking me up?
Cue the nerves and total brain freeze….Where to go? What to do? What would make a good first date ?
Being quite a nervous guy around women, when it came to thinking up good date ideas I’d always found myself panicking and reaching for the old classics of either a movie or a restaurant.
Whilst these ideas are ok, they’re not very creative, especially the movie idea for a first date, as really you’ll both just be sitting in silence for 2-3 hours.
The best date night ideas take into account that everyones taste is different, whether it be an active, romantic or very casual date, like just meeting for coffee. The key for me was using a bit of imagination in my date ideas, but this can be difficult as if we’re feeling nervous we generally choose the safety net of a crowded bar or restaurant. By choosing something a bit different though, you let your date know that you aren’t the same as all the other guys and you’ve got more to offer.
The best lesson I’ve learned is to keep things fun and relaxed, especially on a first date. The more casual and relaxed it feels the more you’ll both just enjoy getting to know each, removing any date nerves. Laughing together is a great ice breaker so finding Comedy nights or bar theme nights will keep you both being entertained and its a great start to the night. Then by moving venues and maybe walking somewhere nearby, this adds variety to the date and makes you connect more as your arriving somewhere different ‘together’.
Not having the charisma and confidence to take the night as it comes, I like to plan a few places to go in advance that are nearby, so during the night you can spontanoeusly suggest trying somewhere new. By keeping the thinking on the night to a minimum, you leave yourself free to just have fun, and I think this really comes across. By doing this small amount of planning your night will have a more exciting sense of adventure to it, and your date will feel secure as your taking control.
With a few good date ideas planned for the night, the next question is “What do we talk about on the date”.
Making conversation and those first date questions can prove difficult as even if things are going well, every now and again in creeps the dreaded…Awkward silence….
One method of getting over this is by just making a joke of it, if you both go quiet, just try saying “Do you beleive in awkward silences”.
I’ve found this gets a laugh and a smile more often than not, then after that everytime it goes quiet, you’ll both just laugh.
Keeping the conversation fun and not too serious definitely helps keep things flowing, try talking about some embarressing moments (minor ones) and asking light hearted questions, these can spark some really great conversations.
Please be aware though that whilst jokes can be great icebreakers they can also backfire on you when not timed very well. A friend of mine learned this the hard way, when a recent date lasted a matter of seconds, as upon meeting he jokingly reached in his pocket and said:
“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”
I guess the lesson from this is to check your date has a great sense of humor first, and even then maybe wait until the second date.